"It Was Rhinos, I Swear!"

Log Info

Title: "It Was Rhinos, I Swear!"
Emitter: Timothy
Characters: Mariscka, Samantha, Sapphire
NPCs: -
Place: Warehouse 537, Cove City waterfront
Time: April 17, 2010
Summary: Two students follow leads and locate a warehouse being used to distribute the dangerous "Magma" drug. Another just happens to be in the right place at the right time to assist them in ruining the dealers' whole day.

We begin outside Warehouse 537. There's no name on it. Just a number. It's not important enough to have a name. Mariscka and Sapphire have just arrived, likely from opposite ends of the street. They may or may not see each other casing the joint. It looks quiet in there. No one is going in and out, at least for the moment… Samantha is here for… well, some other reason. Perhaps she's just passing by and spots Mariscka…

There are an awful lot of mice in the alleyway to one side of Warehouse 537. Two of them scuttle up the drainpipe, drop into the drain, and scatter in either directions. Others follow along the wall, looking for a bolthole to nip into. One of them… prods at an overturned garbage can and comes up with a piece of moldy cheese. "Ewww," Sapphire's voice drifts up in a very small pipe.

For her part, Mariscka is just walking along — after all, she's a gypsy girl, who pays attention to gypsies? She is spending her time pretending to sketch the harbor and the docks, not the warehouses. Ah, one of those artsy Bohemian types — annoying but hardly dangerous, right?

There are times where she spins around, or brushes hair over her shoulder, taking a sidelong glance at the warehouse in question, warehouse 537.

Samantha happens to be here on completely unrelated business, on her way to do some parts shopping for the monster gaming PC she wants to put together in her dorm room. And so she's just passing by on her way to her favorite geek bits shop, further down the street…

There's still no one going in and out… wait a minute. This old, beat-up truck roars by, nearing hitting Samantha in the process. Just inches away! It pulls up in front of the fence, the gates opening automatically. A pair of men are inside the truck. They're heading for the warehouse itself. One's gesturing and laughing, and the other rolls his eyes. Pulling up near the entrance, they get out, and head inside. When the door opens, a brief slit of light is revealed, before the door shuts once more. They haven't even apologized for, y'know, nearly hitting Samantha. No one's paying attention to Mariscka, right now.

Meanwhile, the mousies hear lots of voices coming from the shop. And… a familiar scent. It's strong enough that she feels a bit unsteady, though she isn't actually affected by the scent. It's just a tell-tale hint.

"Aha." The mouse with the cheese seems to be in charge: it scampers to a vantage point atop one of the garbage-can lids as the others find cracks and crevices to squeeze into, following the sound of voices and trying to get close enough to overhear.

"Eww, spiders," says an entirely different female voice.

"I'm sorry they didn't put out the red carpet for your fastiness," a male voice snorts.

"That's fastidiousness." A different male, clipped and precise.

"Bite me, Adam."

"Ixnay on the alking-tay," Sapphire squeaks. This may be the first time in recorded history mice have used Pig Latin. At least they all quiet down before they're close enough that one could hear the snarking.

Dark eyes carefully scan the warehouse, after all it's not uncommon for a reckless driver drawing some attention. Then Mariscka turns her back to the warehouse, and she reaches into the pouch at her side. She withdraws a silk wrapped package. Carefully she settles it onto her open sketchbook, unwrapping it and looking at the cards that it holds. She carefully starts turning over one card at a time, her eyes loosing focus, a blue-white color overcoming the brown, as the woman appears blind now.

But her sight is elsewhere. There are a few moments, before she blinks, and suddenly clutches the cards to her chest. Ducking her head, the young woman looks to the left, then to the right, deciding what to do.

"HEY! What the…?" Samantha is, erm, Not Happy with the driver of the truck that just nearly made roadkill out of her. Not like her shouting after the receding truck is particularly threatening, or likely even noticed by the men in the truck.

Sam does, however, watch the vehicle angrily as it drives away from her, and so sees it enter the gate and head for the warehouse. And so, still more than a little pissed off and curious on top of it, she reaches out with her mind to see if she can find what's up in there that the jerks in the truck were in such a hurry about. A computer, a security camera, she's not picky, just trying to link up with anything with enough of a processor for her to latch onto…

And so Samantha will see an interesting sight. The same one that Mariscka is seeing through ESP and Sapphire is seeing through a horde of mice. Namely, a large group of people, perhaps eight or ten, just lounging. Except for two, who are unloading two relatively small boxes. Inside the boxes are small squares. Chocolates? No, but that sort of thing. The squares are like waxed paper or something, and the group looks fairly tough. Odd. What are they doing unloading just two boxes? The warehouse looks fairly empty, otherwise…

Sapphire hiss-squeaks — or part of her does — as a few of the mice scramble up on a pipe, trying to get a bird's eye view of the situation. They keep close tabs on the boxes, trying to determine what their fate and purpose is. Meanwhile, two more mice scamper up the truck's loading ramp to check out what else is inside.

It takes a moment, before Mari stuffs her Tarot back into her bag. With the sketchbook still to her chest, the young woman turns around, and looks up at the warehouse. Since the gate is still open, Mariscka steps towards it, glancing around, "Pardon me?" she calls out, glancing over her shoulder, before stepping past the gate and towards the warehouse. "I was just wondering… if I could perhaps borrow a window? It would be a lovely view of the docks for my sketching… if not, I can go…"

"Okay, that's weird. What was the hurry, you jerks?" Samantha's commenting to herself about the scene she's witnessing through her 'borrowed' camera inside the warehouse, when her own eyes notice a semi-familiar girl walking in through the gate. "Hey, what's she doing here…?" Curiouser and curiouser. And not being a cat, and so unworried, Sam walks along the side of the road toward the warehouse, though making at least some attempt not to be obvious about looking that way, while continuing to also observe what's happening inside.

One of the people push open the door. And tells Mari, "Get lost, you bitch." He's not very nice, is he? He snorts, and spits, rolling his eyes and saying over his shoulder, "Some stupid cunt, that's all." Really not nice, is he? A pause, "Huh? Oh. Okay." He turns and looks at Mariscka, saying, "Get in here, bitch." He points a gun at Mariscka. Dum de dum!

Tiny mouse feet scuttle across the warehouse floor, winding towards the toughs. They stay back — close to the nearest shadows — but obviously ready to unleash an unpleasant surprise. If one actually looked and saw them… it'd look like a scene out of a horror movie. A few exchange disapproving chitters, but it vanishes beneath the subtle noise of the warehouse.

The sketchbook is brought to her chest, as Mariscka blinks at the gun, her eyes wide, and her spare hand ducking into her bag, fingers wrapping around the silk-wrapped cards. "But… I just was looking for a place to draw… I can just leave, I promise. I… I am a minor."

The parked truck… suddenly cranks and starts, as if someone was in it to turn the ignition key. Absence of said person, and possibly said key, notwithstanding. And as soon as it's started, it shifts into reverse and starts backing out toward the open gate…

Meanwhile, and totally coincidentally, Samantha's moving to place herself as out of sight of the gunman in the door as she can while still being able to see what's happening. Coincidentally.

As the car goes driving, the man goes, "FUCK!" His finger clenches instinctively. And as the bullet careens down the barrel straight towards Mariscka, and caroms off a flurry of glowing cards that appear around her, flowing out of the her hands. He stares, "WHAT HELL!?" A pause, "Hey Lonny, we got a neo-fucker!" As he says this, he pulls out an object. It's not a gun. It looks like a strangely-carved wand of ash. The other guy inside goes, "Fuck. Really? We'll be right there." Out of the warehouse comes the others, each carrying odd wands of ash and holly… and maybe other woods as well.

Sapphire's crouch to spring is aborted — momentarily — as the cards deflect the initial shot. Seven minds regroup, scuttling about themselves. Much sotto voce commentary, frantic, about Harry Potter and goddess worship and phallic symbols.

There is a scream from Mariscka, her flying up in front of her as her head turns to the side — almost as if she wasn't certain the cards would protect her. Taking a stumbling step backwards, Mariscka blinks, peering at the cards swirling around her. Well, she's outted, now what to do. She can't fight three… wait, the truck. How is the truck…

Shaking her head, Mariscka straightens, and reaches out, tapping one of the cards in front of her, setting the deck to swirling protectively in two circles at opposite angles around her.

"Ash? Really? An ash wand?" she asks, shaking her head. "Mottled oak with mistletoe would have been a better choice…," she bluffs.

And it's then that the large, truck-sized door the truck was parked in front of, to the left of the people-sized door 'Joe' and Mari are at, k-chunks and starts cranking open with an electrical whine…

"Damnit, I hope these work. They said it'd work, but I—" This is when one of the strange wands that one of the men — Joe — is carrying goes off as it were. Ice seems to just swirl into being around her, trying to freeze her, but it doesn't work. The second guy coming through the door lets off his attack as well. This one strikes her cold, pun intended. He whirls after the attack, staring at the door, "Shit. What the hell is going on?" Meanwhile, the bolt of energy strikes Mariscka, and she finds herself snared. Locked in place. She can still move her arms and upper body though, it's only her legs that are, well, you know. Frozen to the ground!

A flurry of feathers explodes without warning from the truck, from the shadows of the boxes, from the rafters and pipes above… a dark stream of birds, absolutely silent until they strike out, in dizzying profusion, at Lonny. So many talons and pecking beaks leave the man nicked and marked. Now cawing, the birds circle. "Hey, pick on someone your own size," Sapphire's voice says from the morass.

A cry of pain erupts from Mariscka, after all, cold that freezes you to the ground… that HURTS! Flailing, Mariscka reaches out, a card flies into her hand. Dark eyes look over the card and she nods to herself. "Pain for Pain," she intones, and flips the card around to display the picture — the 10 of swords, with ten swords slamming into the back of a a fallen man.

The card glows before disappearing in a blue glow, rising upwards. As that happens, glowing blue swords rain from the sky, carefully avoiding the dark birds striking Lonny — but hitting everything else, knocking four of the men down, rendering them unconscious.

"Fuuuck. It's raining swords. It's fucking raining swords. And somethin's going on over there and…" The men are freaking out. They drop the wands, and dig into a pocket, pulling out what looks like wax paper. They lick it. And their breathing gets heavier. And they start to shudder. They're not turning green, but the results are obvious, muscles growing over their forms. They both attack Mariscka. One misses her. The other grabs onto her with powerful limbs, growling. He lifts her in the air and swings her. She goes flying, landing with an 'OOF!' right on top of the horde of crows, flying through them and bringing some of the birds down. Mariscka finds herself hurt, but able to… er, well sit up. Her legs are still frozen. Poor Sapphire is a bit dazed from the attack, the birds flying in haphazard directions!

Meanwhile, outside, the truck brakes to a stop, shifts into drive, and hits the gas, driving back toward the now-open big doorway. As it passes one of the drugged up goons, a door swings open and slams into him, sending him sprawling.

The vehicle continues into the warehouse, where it screeches to a halt more or less next to where Mari landed. The door swings open again, and the cheap radio in the dashboard crackles. The voice that yells from the speakers doesn't sound one bit like Ahnold, but it might be at least a passable Summer Glau:

"Come with me if you want to live."

"What the hell? They didn't tell us anything 'bout this!" Comes the response from Lonny. Joe is staggering. One of their blasts misses Mariscka entirely. The second one slams into Sapphire. A burst of light streaks outwards from the wand. It slams into her, but all of the crows close their eyes at the same moment. Do you know how hard that is? She is not, thankfully, blinded!

"That was impressive unison. We need to put together a choral group now," a scratchy female voice caws from the circling crows.

"There's already enough gay in this group," the snarky male observes.

"It's called a storytelling." The clipped, precise voice.

"I'm not gay!"

The crows regroup and divebomb for Lonny, pecking for his eyes. Ouch! But he manages to evade their furious flurry.

One crow lands on the hood of the truck, nonchalantly, and peers within. "I always knew machines were trying to take over the world."

Mariscka stares. Oh yes, she just outright stares at the truck. "Do what if I what?" she asks, staring at the truck. Then she shakes her head and reaching out, Mariscka snags another of the floating cards, even as she hisses trying to pull herself free. As she fumbles for the truck, Mariscka throws the card at Joe — it flies true and hovers in front of his face, glowing blue and soon enough his eyes turn to the same blue color. "Point the wand at the boys with the filthy mouths. It will help them wash their tongues," commands Mariscka before grunting as she tries to get to the truck.

You can almost hear 'HULK SMASH!' Too bad this isn't the right universe for that. The Magma-riddled man lifts his arms and grabs for the truck. With its skidding out of the way, he doesn't manage to do what he was trying to do. Which was rip it in two. One of the wheels is torn off and one of the doors comes off, but that's about it. He lifts the door and throws it throw a wall. Through the fence. It finally smashes a nearby car, denting it in a major way. The man roars in anger!

Once Mari's in, the radio crackles again: "Hold on!" And the truck slams into reverse and starts backing out of the building again, with a horrible metal-on-concrete screech thanks to the damage inflicted on it. As it starts to move, the horn starts blaring intermittently. At the roadside, it brakes roughly to a halt and the driver's door opens — and Samantha leaps in, taking control of the truck manually as the gate in the fence starts to close now that the truck is clear. She backs the truck into the street, swinging to one side in preparation for gunning it away from the scene of the fighting… and she's peering through the dusty glass at the street number on the front of the building while her lips are moving slightly, but silently.

As the truck, commandeered by the machine controller, careens out the gates, a bold of blistering black-light streaks from the wand of Lonny. It slams into the cab. And suddenly, both Mari and Samantha are in open air. The entire front of the truck is gone. Just gone. There IS no front anymore. Meanwhile, Joe whirls and points the wand he carries at Lonny and the last 'Hulk Smash' high-as-a-kite-on-Magma man! From the tip of the wand comes… butterflies. Thousands of butterflies. Unfortunately, they have razor-sharp wings, and the man on high Magma screams in pain as he experiences a thousand paper cuts, all at once. He collapses in a bleeding heap, unconscious. Lonny dives out of the way of the butterflies, taking only a few scratches, yelling, "JOE! WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!"

This leaves, of course, Sapphire on the other side of the men. They're distracted. One by attacking his team mate, the other by being attacked!

Frantic squawking from a single crow, formerly perched on the front of the truck watching proceedings — supervising the escape, as it were; can't leave it to humans and their unreliable machines — as it drops to the ground in front of the two girls.

The crow preens its feathers. "Hi, ladies," says the voice of a teenaged boy trying hard to be suave.

"Van! Focus!" Sapphire complains.

"The rest of you seem to have it well in hand! Why should I put myself out?"

Much grumbling and chittering and hffting from the crows before they loop to the attack again, taking advantage of Lonny's distraction to divebomb… at first without effect, but then on a second loop, leaving long scores on his arms and shoulders (and ruining his shirt! Really, now) before they swoop away. The man stumbles, stunned.

Mariscka peers at the crow, as it hits on her. "Wha… " she starts, shaking her head. "We shall talk later," she says to the crow, before pulling herself upright — the cards still hovering around her. She parts her lips, about to command Joe again, when suddenly his eyes stop glowing, and a Tarot-card reforms, flying back into her protective 'stack'.

"Well, that won't work… " she murmurs, reaching out to grab another card and flinging it at Joe. The card turns into a beam of arcane energy, striking Joe — but the man shakes his head, effectively shaking off the desired effect.

The gypsy girl puts a hand on her hip and frowns, a terse curse in Romanii escaping her lips. She reaches out an grabs another card, arching an eyebrow as she sees the picture: a tower being struck by lightning. "This will do," she says and throws the card in the air. The card glows yellow, and there is a menacing crack of thunder is heard overhead. Then there is a flash of light that crashes down, leaving the scent of ozone in the air, and smoke wafting from Joe's head where his hair is singed.

"What the hell man, you shot me!" "It wasn't me, honest. That… I don't know, I just had to, I can't explain it!" "Yeah, right, man. We'll talk about this. Later. After we kick these stupid kids' asses." With this, the young man known as Lonny points one of the wands right at the crows. A stream of super-heated air streaks towards the crows, and they find themselves in a sauna as mystical magic tries to leech away their energy. They resist though. "I know, it was that bitch!" Joe points his wand at Mari. A bolt of blacklight (EEP!) streaks from it, but misses her. A hole the size of a Buick appears in the ground maybe five feet away from her.

Her quick radio call to the police completed, Samantha's just about to stomp on the gas pedal when… it's suddenly not there. And neither is the rest of the cab of the truck. "Wha… OW!" Confusion plus fear, followed by pain as her backside impacts the pavement. Could've been worse — If the cab had gone away a few seconds later, she and Mari would be hitting the asphalt at 20 or 30 miles an hour, followed by having the still-moving back of the truck run over them. Instead, it's just a disorienting moment of surprise, but at least not a catastrophic one.

Gathering her shaken wits, Sam tries to use what's left of the truck as cover as she gets to a crouch and tries to figure out her next move.

"I'll be right here," the crow near Mariscka promises.

"Actually, he won't," says a dulcet voice from elsewhere in the horde. "He's that kind of boy, you understand."

"Screw you, Celestine."

"Not if the survival of the species depended on it."

"Which one do we go after?" wonders another crow as they continue to circle.

"Why choose?" Sapphire says. "Let's split up."

And so the cloud of black feathers does, swooping down towards both man with hoarse cackling and a faintly disturbing amount of glee. It's possible that the storytelling is too caught up in the moment to realize there's any real danger in it.

Mariscka shrieks as she ducks from the blacklight. Patting her hair, then her skirts, making certain everything is there, the young Gypsy girl straightens and hmmmpfs. "How rude," she murmurs before flicking some hair over her shoulder, uncertain what else really to do except to continue to act confident, despite her hands shaking. Reaching out, a card is snagged and flung at Joe. This time the blast of blue energy overwhelms the man and he falls unconscious, before Mariscka smooths the front of her skirt. "Didn't your mother teach you to be respectful towards women?"

Samantha… stands up, peering around the end of the remains of the truck. Hard to decide if the look on her face is more scared or angry. Then the black light blast nearly takes out Mari, and the smoking crater left by it makes up Sam's mind. Yeah, that'd be Sam's ROYALLY PISSED OFF look.

A second later, the revolver stuffed into Lonny's waistband… fires. And the man goes down, screaming and clutching at where the bloodstain is starting to form on his pants in his groin/inner thigh area…

"Oh fuck, you shot me! You shot me! How the HELL!? YOU FUCKING SHOT ME, GET AN AMBULANCE! I'M GONNA SUE YOU, YOU HEAR ME!?" The guy is down. Screaming. Well. He's not trying to fight you anymore, that's good right?

"No one was near the gun except for you, Sir," notes Mariscka, turning her gaze pointedly up towards the security cameras. "I do believe the authorities will agree it was an… accidental discharge." Then she looks over towards Sam, "Correct?"

Mariscka grabs into her bag and pulls out a cell phone, dialing 9-1-1. After giving a brief statement over the phone, Mari hangs up. It is then her knees give way and she crumples to the ground, with a pale expression. "By God… did I really just do that?" she asks.

The crows stream forward, landing on the nearest convenient perch(es) to the other two, wings flapping. "Are you all right? Are you both all right?" various choruses of voices ask. One crow, then another, starts hastily inspecting outstretched wings, looking for hitherto-unnoticed signs of damage on him-her-them as well.

Samantha stares down Lonny. He might feel the 'subtle' warning of the hammer of the revolver pulling back and the cylinder advancing just about now. "Yippie-ki-yay, jerkface. Now shut up and behave yourself until the ambulance gets here." Then she asides to the birds and Mari, while still watching the man, "I'm okay, I think." The fact that she's carrying on a conversation with a flock of crows hasn't quite sunk in yet, given everything else.

"You guys are neohumans! Wait till I talk to my lawyer!" Holy shit? Is this guy serious? The sound of sirens can be heard in the distance, as well. The police /are/ on their way, after all…

Mariscka's eyes widen briefly, wait, can he get off because they are neohumans? Shock and fear cover the young girl's face, before she shakes it off. "That's… just the pain talking," she says softly. "Photos… we should make sure no one messes with anything and take photos, right?" asks Mariscka — she's watched too many cop dramas.

Then she blinks at the crows as they speak to her, the other young woman, then themselves. Mariscka nods her head quickly, even though she shows no sign of standing up. "I… I'm okay," she whispers as her voice cracks.

"Either that, or you just put way too much LSD on your cereal," snarks one of Sapphire's male voices. "I mean, talking crows? Seriously, who thinks up this shit?"

"Hey, don't freak out," Sapphire says quickly, trying to soothe. "It's okay. You were awesome. And no, he's just an idiot talking through his ass. Or… wherever it is she actually shot the hole." From frantically, fluffy-feeling reassurance to scornful in a heartbeat or so. The crows finish their inspection for injuries, but still can't hold still, hopping and fluttering. "We should go, though. We really should go."

"Yeah, we should. Otherwise it's going to get Really Awkward around here Real Soon." You can almost hear the capital letters in Sam's voice. "We're going now, jerk. Don't try anything," she says to Lonny, the gun making a slight motion in his pants to remind him.

"Why not talk to the harbingers of future?" asks Mariscka, tilting her head to the side, "especially when they can talk back?" Then the young gypsy girl offers a smile to the murder of crows, every single one of them. "Thank you. You were all very brave, and very good at what you did. Thank you very much."

Then Mariscka blinks a few times, looking at Samantha, eyes wide. "We should?" she asks, before frowning. She then looks at her legs folded beneath her. "I may have to take the easy exit… I'm not sure I can really stand just yet."

"Oh, we don't know anything about the future," Sapphire says modestly, ducking several heads. "And yeah, uh… I'd just as soon not have to explain to the cops again." Again? But then she brightens. "Oh, that's no problem at all! I can carry you." The crows swoop together, massing briefly as a black horde that fades, slowly, to dingy grey, as feathers blend into wrinkled hide. There are now seven — exactly seven — rhinoceroses (rhinocerii?) standing in the warehouse. That's a crash, if you want to get technical about it. One of them lumbers down by Mariscka, kneeling down. "Climb aboard."

"You want to ride me?" the would-be charmer asks Sam.

One of the other rhinos side-swipes him. "Behave."

Ohhhhhh-kay. THAT's something you don't see every day. Thankfully for Lonny, Sam's concentration doesn't slip entirely as the form-shifting takes place. "Whoa. That's freaky. And awesome," she comments quietly. "Here, let me help," she then adds as she moves to aid Mari in getting onto her rhino of choice.

There's an unspoken "eww" on her face as she reacts to the rhinothario's proposition.

Mariscka blinks and starts at the trouble? of rhinocerii?. "I … do not know what you are the harbinger of except firefighters if 'The Gods Must Be Crazy' is correct," notes the Gypsy girl. Then she sighs and smiles thankfully towards Samantha. "I'm new to this, as I'm sure you could guess," is offered apologetically as she is helped onto the back of the unusual beast of burden. "Shall we away?"

It'd be a good idea. The police are almost here, and the guy? Is bleeding, and gibbering.

Mounting up on one of the other beasts, Sam glances back at poor, bleeding Lonny and says, "I dare you to tell /this/ part to the cops. Bye, now!"

"We are the harbingers of trampled things." Sapphire sounds as if she's speaking from experience, a little rueful. "Let's go." And she-they amble off with passengers in place, making good time despite the apparent lumberous pace.

Once out of earshot of any of the badguys, Sam says to Mari and the rhinos, "Um, I'm Sam, by the way." Looking to Mari she adds, "I know I've seen you at school, but we haven't met."

Blinking, still a little awed at riding a rhino, Mariscka looks at Samantha. "Oh, I … um, my name is Mariscka Emil. I .. I'm starting as a Freshman in the summer. But my school let out early." There is a hint of a blush, and a self-abashing glance down. "It is a pleasure to meet you… Sam."

I'm Sapphire," says the lead rhinoceros… and then, as the others start grumbling, "Uh, and Gertrude, Christian, Van, Adam, Celestine and Aponi, but… only like this." The lead rhino's head swings up towards Mariscka. "Really? Mine, too. It's good to meet you both."

"So all of you are students at, um, our school, too…?" Sam asks the rhinos a little tentatively.

"It would seem that way," offers Mariscka, before patting Sapphire's back. "Thank you, Sapphire, Gertrude, Christian, Van, Adam, Celestine, and Aponi. You are all most impressive," offers the gypsy girl.

"Sure am — are — er," Sapphire concludes. "But gee — thanks. I liked the tricks with the cards." A devilish little snicker. "And the gun."

"Come on. That was just *wrong*, Safi."

"I, um, kinda got a little mad back there," Samantha says, blushing and a little sheepish. "But at least it stopped him. Those wand things they were using were nasty."

"He is alive, and in better shape than he would have left us in, am I right in my rationalizations?" asks Mariscka, looking at Sam, then at the rhino she is riding on. The young woman chews on her lower lip, clutching at her bag protectively.


Alien Rhinos Attack Cove City! (Cove Enquirer)

Reports buried deep within the police departments reveal that a horde of killer aliens from space resembling rhinoceroses attacked a warehouse near the docks last evening! The sole witness of the attack, one 'Lonny' Burkett, said that he was attacked by what is known as a crash of rhinos that talked! Witnesses reveal the entire warehouse destroyed and a supply of the notorious drug 'Magma' on premises.

Proof, dear readers, that the drug is being sold by aliens! Who can trust aliens?!

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